MY 2019 NON-RESOLUTIONS…


Resolution

/rɛzəˈluːʃ(ə)n/

noun

1. A firm decision to do or not to do something.

  1. “After her near death experience that fateful Sunday morning,
    Becca kept her resolution never to drink again”

Like bollocks she did.

It’s my opinion that resolutions are no more than a way of publicly
guilting ourselves in to doing something that we’re not actually all
that committed to, but feel like we really should be. We declare
these usually completely unrealistic goals out loud hoping that
someone will hold us accountable to actually following through with
them, but the truth is, no one particularly gives a shit. Soz.

That isn’t to say that your BFF’s won’t be super impressed and proud
of whatever you do manage to tick off of the mental achievement
list – of course they will, that’s what pals are for. It’s just that if
December comes around and you haven’t quite gotten round to
taking that skydive, or penning a best-selling novel yet, guess what,
they’ll love you all the same. The only person who will beat you up
about it is yourself, and really, who has the time for that?!

Let me paint a clearer picture here. Here are some of the
things I ‘resolved’ myself to do last year:

* Learn to play the Ukulele and become ‘cool chick’ with surprising
hidden talent reserved for after-parties and impressing strangers.

* Learn German at a passable conversational level for our trip to Berlin.

* Land a dream job, make enough money to go on idyllic island getaway
holiday for at least a month.

* Unleash inner interior designer resulting in well put together and
immaculately maintained Pinterest worthy house.

* Learn calligraphy, become envy of all friends and relatives come Christmas card writing time.

 

* Lose three stone and become fitness inspiration to all those that gaze
upon my perfectly sculpted body.

* Give in to years of hearing ‘oh my god you should totally start a blog!’
and actually do it.

Here’s how these actually went:

* Learned two chords then decided was too hard. Ukulele now gathering
dust in corner.

* Deleted Duolingo to make space for hair colour changing app. Decided

blue hair was not for me. Now remember only two words – ‘schwanz’
and ‘prost’. Not often heard in sentences together. Almost got banned from
Berlin.

 

* Left a job. Was unemployed for three months. Ate excessive amount of
cheesy poofs and remained in pyjamas for undisclosed amount of time.
Surprisingly no island holiday.

* House remains much the same as last year, except pile of unfinished interiors

related projects in spare room (a.k.a dumping ground)
significantly larger. Ukulele in corner does however add to decor marvelously.

* Bought calligraphy set. Actually bought incorrect calligraphy set. Crap calligraphy

set now at bottom of drawer.

* Lost one stone pre-holiday in regimented calorie controlled diet. Continued ‘holiday

mode’ eating for rest of year. Put stone (plus some..) back on.

* Actually started a blog, Hurrah! Am not total failure.

My point is, how likely was it that I would really ever achieve all of these?
About as likely as me waking up on a Sunday swearing that I’ll never drink
again and actually sticking to it…

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m still setting myself some goals for the year.
It’s totally healthy to want to better yourself in any way you can will help
you live that ‘best life’ that we’re all reaching for, and learning new skills
is always a totally badass thing to do. All I’m saying is I’m not going to put
so much bloody pressure on myself to be this perfect version of me. I’m
actually pretty ok just the way I am, but this year I aim to be a little bit more,
and maybe sometimes a little bit less.

A little more motivated, a little less procrastination.


A little more sociable, a little less couch potato and pyjamas.


A little more fit and healthy, a little less critical of my wobbly bits and
muffin top.

A little more time spent enjoying this crazy life, a little less taking the
small stuff so seriously.

A little more damn proud of myself when I do achieve something awesome,
a little less ‘I’m not good enough’, because that is just BULLSHIT, and the only
thing ever holding me back is myself. Well no more of that this year. 2019
will be the year of ‘I CAN’.

*accepts flowers, dons Miss Self Love 2019 crown, takes a bow, sashays away*

Have a great year everyone, you deserve it.

B x

 

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